Hunger Pains
by Rachelle Ryan
Summary: Helga is a mean bully of a girl to the outside world but a mushy romantic on the inside. Still her act takes a lot of effort to keep up. What happens when someone new enters the Pataki household and she doesn't have the energy to hide anymore?


Summary: Helga is a mean bully of a girl to the outside world but a mushy romantic on the inside. Still her act takes a lot of effort to keep up. What happens when someone new enters the Pataki household and she doesn't have the energy to hide anymore? Disclaimer: I don't have a clue who owns Hey Arnold. I'm using their characters without permission. They can sue me if they want but they'll have a hard time squeezing money out of me seeing as I don't got any!  
  
  
  
Hunger Pains  
  
*I'm so hungry.* I'd been feeling sharp pains in my stomach for the last couple hours. Miriam had forgotten to put a sandwich in my lunch box again and last night I couldn't wake her to make anything for dinner. Since Big Bob wasn't home I had to fend for myself just as I had the day before. Bob was out selling beepers in Ohio or something and been gone for the week. I'd eaten everything semi-edible in the house two days ago. The first day after the food ran out I went over to Phoebe's house for diner, I can't do that too many times though cause her parents would get suspicious. I don't want to tip them off. As soon as I was able to comprehend it I realized that truth. My home life might be hell but living at the mercy of social services would be worse. I'm too old and too ugly to be adopted. So my last meal consisted of a half jar of wrinkled pickles that I'd found in the back of the fridge behind the beer bottles. Miriam either hasn't noticed that we have no food yet or she's been going out for her meals. I don't know which cause sometimes she goes for days without eating, just drinks her shakes.  
  
I looked down at my dirt stained pink shoes as my stomach rumbled. Dreamily I noticed my feet were dragging. I was still gazing at my feet when a bout of dizziness hit me. My clothes suddenly felt too tight and I couldn't breathe. Staggering a few steps I leaned against the closest solid surface. I closed my eyes and focused on taking in air. *It'll pass it always does.* I gripped the handle of my lunch box till my fingers hurt. After an eternity of only hearing my harsh panting and feeling nothing but gripping fear I felt solid again. I knew which direction was up and I could feel the ground beneath my feet. I opened my eyes cautiously. *Nope. No one around to see me.* This street, with its run down storefronts and dirty sidewalks, is usually deserted. At times like these I take it home so no one that could recognize me would see me like this. I knew I'd look a sight. A little girl in a shabby pink dress, so old that it was fraying around the edges, with cockeyed blond pigtails, and a silly pink bow perched on the top of her head looking dazed and hollow dragging her feet along. I'm usually full of so much animation and anger that no one pays much attention to the way I look. I figure Phoebe knows, she knows just about everything about me no matter how much I pretend she doesn't. She was the one who taught me that chewing on your shirt because you were so hungry was not something everybody did. I let my feet go on automatic as my mind wandered onto happy half thoughts about my best friend.  
  
I came back to myself as my fingers wrapped around our doorknob. *Maybe Bob brought some food home.* I banished the wistful thought. Thinking about food always made the hunger worse. The door swung open gently as if the breeze had more to do with it's being ajar than human influence. I was too tired to throw the door open. Too tired and hungry to put up my standard screen of anger. I fumbled with it trying to get it closed. It's ridiculous that so simple a task can become so unworkable. My body couldn't move right though with my limbs feeling all tingly. I could feel the pinpricks of sweat that had formed as I'd struggled with the door and felt even more fatigued. I turned around. "Yip!" I jumped and my lunch box crashed to the floor. Bob and Miriam were standing right behind me. Bob was wearing his green king shirt and an angry expression, typical. Miriam, now she looked far more awake then usual, her normal apathetic mask replaced by a nervous twitch. She and Bob were standing together but she had edged away from him. She was gripping her one arm unconsciously rubbing her thumb on the inside of her elbow. All not good signs. *Oh, no.*  
  
"Olga," I opened my mouth to correct him then stopped. I didn't have the energy, it wasn't worth the effort. "Your mother has some news." He growled the last bit. I turned to Miriam. She took a hesitant step towards me then faltered. She glanced back at Bob.  
  
"Well, honey. It seems you're about to become a big sister." My mouth fell open. The world spun and everything went black.  
  
~~~I was four years old again and looking at my mother on the couch. Miriam looked younger; her face wasn't as lax as if the muscles had forgotten to work. There was a pain in my stomach and I remembered why I was here. I poked her in the arm. "Mommmeeee. I'm hungrrree." My mother just swatted at me and rolled over. Big fat tears started running down my face. Mommy hadn't moved for hours and she hadn't given me my breakfast yet. "Mommy?" I tried once more my voice was so pitiful it would have reduced the most hardened person to tears. My mother didn't move beyond a single twitch of her arm. I turned from her to the coffee table. There was half a glass there. I'd been told never to drink mommy's shakes but I was so hungry. Tears streaming down my face I reached for it-~~~  
  
"Gah!" I sputtered trying to draw in air. My face was wet and for a confusing moment I thought I really was crying. Then I realized the water was far too cold and that it was soaking into the top portion of my shirt. I blinked the water out of my eyes and sat up. I could see Bob with an empty glass in his hand. "What happened?"  
  
"Oh, honey you fainted." Miriam made some fluttery movements with her hands. I blinked again. *I what?!* "Are you alright?" Miriam actually sounded something other than sleepy.  
  
"Of course she's alright Miriam. She's a Pataki. She's tough. Right Olga?" I opened my mouth then shut it quietly. I turned to Miriam.  
  
"You're pregnant?" I asked softly.  
  
"Well, yes dear." *I thought she was too old for that...* I thought for a moment what it would be like to have someone to love who'd love me back. I wouldn't have to lie or be someone else with the baby. It wouldn't tell anyone my secrets like that stupid parrot. I could be me. *Maybe I could even teach it to call me Helga instead of Olga. Wait a minute...*  
  
"Are you going to keep making shakes?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Miriam looked away and Bob started turning purple. Ever since before I could remember my "mother" would make a shake and fall asleep. Once I when I was four I sneaked a glass. I spent the rest of the day in my room throwing up and shaking. I decided then I didn't like shakes and I wouldn't drink another one no matter how hungry I got. When I grew older I figured out why she'd always act so funny after her shake. A combination of Phoebe and TV taught me what the funny smelling stuff was she'd always add. I had just relived the memory. It seemed now to be a portent of things to come. My stomach turned at the thought. I'd seen a lot of ads about the effects of doing what Miriam does while pregnant. I didn't want to see it happen to my baby sister or brother.  
  
"It's not your concern what Miriam does or doesn't do!" Bob yelled at me and stormed off. Miriam turned to leave. *Say something you idiot!*  
  
"Miriam..." She took a couple steps. "Mom." I called her in desperation, something I swore to myself I'd never do again, not after the last time she shattered my dreams. Miriam stopped. "Please Mom. It will hurt the baby." I pleaded to her back. Slowly she turned to me and I searched her eyes for some spark of the mother I remembered before the shakes. There was something there then it was quickly buried beneath the haze that never left her these days. I was afraid truly afraid in that moment. Then she slowly nodded.  
  
"Alright honey I promise. Till she's born." I managed to pick myself off the floor and give her a trembling hug. Miriam wasn't much of a mother but this would be a hard promise to keep. I wanted to give her something for making it. It wasn't much but it was more than we'd shared for seven years. My arms wrapped around her waist I noticed she wasn't much better at hugging than I was. Her arms rested hesitantly on my shoulders. *Well little one what a family you're going to be born into. I just hope things go better for you than they do for me.*  
  
**** tbc...If anybody likes it. 


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